Sex Pass
We are looking for feedback on the story and setting for this game. Please leave a comment if you enjoy or dislike the story.
Sex Pass
There is a declining birth rate in the United States. The government has established a Department of Reproduction who has spent a year building a pregnancy program. Although registration is high, their plans to coordinate mass pregnancy has failed. There is only choice left...
Play as Jake Sylus, a young man living an uneventful life. Everything is about to change when the Department of Reproduction gives him the Sex Pass. An app that lets him find and match with nearby women who are part of the pregnancy program.
Why does the Sex Pass work? Because the president just made it legal for Sex Pass users to have sex in public.
Characters
- Name: Kat
- Age: 19
- Characteristics: Tomboy, introverted
- Relation: Jake's co-worker at MovieMagick
- Pregnancy Program: No
- Name: Agent Francine
- Age: 39
- Characteristics: Serious
- Relation: Director at the Department of Reproduction
- Pregnancy Program: Yes
- Pregnancy Status: Not Looking
- Name: Diana
- Age: 23
- Characteristics: Hot-headed
- Relation: A local gym-goer
- Pregnancy Program: Yes
- Pregnancy Status: Looking
Future Characters
- Name: Gail
- Age: 42
- Characteristics: Trashy
- Relation: An unexpected encounter at the grocery store
- Pregnancy Program: Yes
- Pregnancy Status: Looking
- Name: Madison
- Age: 25
- Characteristics: Conniving
- Relation: Jake's brother's soon-to-be wife
- Pregnancy Program: Yes
- Pregnancy Status: Looking
We are looking for feedback on the story and setting for this game. Please leave a comment if you enjoy or dislike the story.
Download
Development log
- Writing Update32 days ago
Comments
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Well, I've been watching erotic visual novels for a while now; Frankly, I'm a fan of "porn with a plot," and I must say the idea is pretty good. A free sex pass as the main plot point can open a lot of interesting possibilities.
From those closest to a plot (you can create a very good drama, or something more fun or light if you want to make it casual; you could also create different routes with each character, although that is more difficult)
As for something more perverted (whether it's exhibitionism, threesomes (it would depend on the personality of each character or your taste; some kind of "system" could be added that sees who becomes more compatible or that the protagonist makes some move to bring together two girls who would normally be incompatible) something more "loving" if a favoritism function is implemented (which I doubt, since that is very rare)), the options are quite varied.
Now, the dialogue is pretty good, but it's missing a few things, for example, punctuation. One example I could point out is when Jacob is talking to Kat:
- The usual is when I sit on my couch watching TV until I pass out
A couple of quotation marks could be used to make it a bit clearer:
- "The usual" is when I sit on my couch watching TV until I pass out (this emphasizes Jacob's "usual").
Or when the agent tells Jacob about his Sex Pass:
- What? This must be a mistake.
A few periods could be added at the beginning, as if to show surprise:
- ... What? This must be a mistake.
Now, another thing I've noticed is the POV; sometimes it jumps from first person to third person, for example, when Jacob receives his certificate:
-Jacob's phone beeps. Download complete!
If we're in third person, it works, but if we're in first person, it should be something like this:
-My phone beeps. The screen displayed a "Download complete!" message.
Or, for example:
- Agent Francine stares at Jake, without saying a word, for longer than he expects.
-The blonde agent stared at me, without saying a word… for longer than I felt comfortable with. (Here, for example, the way the agent is referred to is changed to avoid being redundant with her name, in addition to adding the ellipsis as a sign of discomfort.)
It might be minor things, or maybe I'm just being overly picky (I might also be asking for too much, I'm sorry about that!). In that case, I apologize, but I get really excited about these kinds of projects, and your games are usually good (I love Barely Working).
I hope this one turns out well too, I wish you luck! I'm sorry if the message isn't clear; I'm using a translator since I'm not a native English speaker.
Thanks! This is great!
I'd say stick to the concept so far! I like the vision this game's going for and the dialogue's fun as ever :]
amazing
The story seems ok, the jump to action tho a bit to fast. I like the design of the characters.
Seems like a very fun concept. Hope to see more!
great
big hype for this, loved your previous work
Excellent concept! would love to play more of this
i like this concept! you should continue. and your art is great, even if its just sketches rn
nice work dude as always
Thank you!
Love the concept. Keep up the good work!!
Cool Concept! Hope to See more of it :)
I'm loving this! Please keep it going.
I think this i a great idea! keep at it please!
I think around 10 main characters you could interact with would be good then maybe a random chance of findding a quick fuck with 1 of 2 basic body types and hair styles would make the grind in game easier.
Definitely keeping a close eye to this one, concept is great, a more human-like story is always appreciated (not robot sex machines), and the art is really beautiful.
This should be made into more of a game instead of a novel would do crazy in numbers wise but if kept a novel make a skip feature because sometimes I just wanna goon
time waste
looks good, please add auto-next page.
Promising.
YES!!!! MORE!!!
good concept, i'd like it even more if there was a sandbox element as well
agree
yeah I'd play it
This is really cool, I can't wait to see it completed.
I like this VN concept, is it possible for this to also be open-world?
interesante, gostei desse inicio espero poder ver mais dessa historia mas gostaria de poder fazer alguma escolha na historia, assim como esta fica parecendo mais que eu estou lendo um manga ou algo do gener
I really like the concept of this story. I eagerly await for more content.
This has potential for a story if the morality of people isn't different from the current day and age. Public sex hesitation, not wanting sex on first sight, performance issues, randos on street cockblocking the sex pass people, etc. Artstyle is good.
If you don't plan on making a purely linear story, random pairing offs with women in the street could be a fast dating minigame: improve speach, physique, adjust your manners, assertiveness, etc. You may be a stringbean, but a shy girl might swipe yes if you are also kinda shy. Or might swipe fuck yes if you act assertivelly and she is actually a sub. Lost of potential.
If it is with the art style of "Barely working" it's gonna be amazing
Enjoyable, I wouldn't mind people of different like genders to (still with the ability to get pregnant obvy) but good! The art's really good too. I like the MC so far he seems like a normal dude. I like the groundedness, the absurdness. I see we have our brother's fiancé in the future so that sounds like some real fun intense drama.
Id like the option to get to know the characters, also maybe like optional romance routes maybe? but that cus I like romance routes. over all i'm interested to see how this program conflicts with MC's desires to have meaningful connections
Fantastic
The concept so far is interesting. I really like how a "free sex pass" (literally talking) didn't turn into women just being rolling down the MC's feet. I know it's a very early stage of the game so it's kinda hard giving proper advice. Maybe, for a tad of more realism, make the timer a tad longer (like 15-20 minutes, half of that time goes away just by saying hello and finding a place). If I had an advice to give, keep it real, don't turn the MC into a super dude womanizer just because he becomes more confident. The interaction Diana felt so so real, I kept thinking "yeah this is how it'd probably go down on a scenario like this". Can't wait to see more of that :)
very good
amazing
Nice
Hot!!
Why can't we play as female character ?
+ Can you add bbc for a unique experience
keep it up!
love the concept keep going with this game
amazing story, I can't wait for the next update! keep up the amazing work!